In my work with women from all around the world I notice a common theme over and over and over again.
“I just don’t have enough time to fit everything in,” they say.
“I don’t have any time to make progress on my projects and dreams.”
I get it.
There are the daily responsibilities of work/business, school runs, being a daughter/wife/partner/mother to the highest possible degree, keeping the home clean, tidy and organised, making sure that money is in the bank and the bills are paid on time, errands, washing, ironing, cooking/prepping.
You know the drill.
And then there’s the “trying to eat healthy and get to the gym”, or whatever other commitments you make to yourself to keep strong, fit and healthy.
You don’t need me to remind you how much you have going on, I’m sure!
While all of these things have their place and are GOOD things, most – if not all – women find themselves feeling like it’s just not enough…
…not in terms of quantity, but in term of quality.
- Time to reflect and take stock
- Time to deeply connect with friends and family, beyond a quick text or phone call
- Time to be strategic about longer term plans
- Time to relax
- Time to be creative
- Time to invent or re-invent
- Time to think
- Time to plan
- Time to play
- Time to just BE
In fact, I feel pretty sure that as you read that list just now, there was more than just a small part of you that inwardly sighed, as if to say, “if only…”
I get that too.
A few years ago I was in the same boat.
Successful but overwhelmed. Constantly chasing my tail. Constantly running through a to-do list and never reaching the end of it. Constantly focused on how I was therefore “failing”. Constantly wondering how I was ever going to find time for MY projects and MY dreams. Constantly pushing away any possible joy or light relief outside of my “work hours”, because I was so intently focused on getting stuff done and thought it was bad to have fun or to take more than 15 minute breaks while working (!).
But all of that changed. And now, I am a different woman living a very different life.
And this is how I went about it in those early days of time transformation…
Step 1 | Believe it’s possible
It’s incredibly simple, but you do have to start with the mindset that the time is there for you, just waiting to be found. Most women unconsciously carry a belief that there’s just “not enough time”. There is “enough time”, you just need to start thinking differently about it, and that’s where the journey begins, knowing that it’s already there.
Step 2 | Be clear on exactly what you want to find time for and exactly how much time you truly need
It’s not enough to say “I need more time”. We can all say that ; )
Let’s get specific.
What do you want more time for exactly? Make a list.
Is to get your nails painted every couple of weeks? Is it to be able to pick back up on your painting/sewing/dressmaking project? Is it to be able to go to the gym five times per week instead of once in a blue moon? Is it to have 30 minutes to yourself every morning so you can journal and really connect with yourself before everyone else starts wanting you?
Write your list and then get specific about the time you desire for each item, and also the frequency. Your list can be as long or as short as you wish, just recognise that the longer your list, the more changes you will likely need to make to your existing life in order to accommodate them.
Step 3 | Be open and willing to let some things go
While I’d love to say I have a magic formula for turning 24 hours into 30, I’m sorry to say that, as of right now, I don’t. (And I don’t know anyone who does, but if I find them I will definitely send them your way…)
With this being the case, and because you’re reading this article, I’ll assume that you don’t already have these extra hours to pull from the sky, either.
On this basis, and knowing that you can’t literally add hours to your day (and don’t try stealing them from your sleep time either!), then you’re going to have to let some things go.
Now, I’m fully aware that at this moment in time your immediate response may be to freak out and think, “If I could let things go I would have done so already. Don’t you understand how busy I am?”
Yes, I totally do.
And I also know, because I’ve been there too, that a lot of the things that we do every day are things that:
- We don’t need to do
- If they do need to be done, there is generally someone else who can do most, if not all, of those things
When we admit this to ourselves it creates a very different opportunity.
The opportunity to have what we want.
It also brings us face-to-face with whatever has kept us tied into that schedule and to-do list, things like: needing to feel important; needing to feel needed; needing to feel busy; being afraid to actually lose the weight/get fit/pursue that project/have a difficult conversation. Yes, we can actually WANT to AVOID the very things that we say we want to do by using “busy” as our excuse… Because it’s so easy to do, believable, and everyone buys into it.
And this is just the start!
Our busy-ness, while we can justify it pretty impressively, is often a mask for the things we are avoiding, rather than a can’t-be-changed-under-any-circumstances reality.
We have to stop being afraid of space, and start being excited by it.
More than that, we have to start consciously creating it. And this only happens when we are prepared to question everything we are currently doing, and seeing if we do in fact even need to be doing it.
Step 4 | Map out your ideal every day
A classic coaching exercise that you may have come across before is to map out your so-called “perfect day” – the day that dreams are made of, where you get to do anything that you want, no questions asked and the sky’s the limit – but that’s not what I’m referring to here, today.
Oftentimes, for most women, this “perfect day” scenario translates to something like laying on a sandy beach reading a good book, sipping on something delicious, while not having a care in the world… but we all know that this is really better titled “fantasy day”, right?!
Your ideal every day is about making every day special.
Every single day. No matter what.
It’s about the type of day/schedule that you consciously choose to live based on what is going on in your life right now, and then making it truly magical.
It’s about recognising that all we can only ever start from is where we are today, and then we can dream, vision, plan and create a different every day for ourselves moving forward. It’s also about recognising that once we start this process moving, we can infuse more magic, more joy, more freedom, more of what we desire into every passing day, by giving ourselves permission, dropping what’s not necessary and allowing ourselves to live the way we really want to instead.
If this sounds at all like another version of fantasy, I can assure you that it’s not. I’ve recreated my life and my days many many times over, and the same principles always apply.
You have to start with where you are, and you have to know what you want instead.
Once you are clear on these and you have your ideal schedule, then you can move onto the final step of the process…
Step 5 | Start making changes
Once you have your new day plan, it’s time to start making changes. In most cases, this will be done slowly but surely, but it really does vary depending on your own unique situation and the number of people who are currently tied into and directly affected by your normal day-to-day.
To get the party started I would recommend that you pick just one thing that you want to bring in right away – this one thing being something that is not yet in your life, but features in your new ideal schedule, and you’re excited to bring it in as soon as possible.
For example, you might choose “swimming for an hour every Friday at 5:00pm”.
Right now, in your life as it stands today, you might usually be traveling home from work at 5:00pm on a Friday, or have just got home. In any case, not any more!
Moving forward, Friday 5:00pm is your new swimming time, and it’s up to you to make the necessary edits to your life right away to make that happen.
No more waiting, no more excuses, just get on and do it!
Once one new habit is in place, you can then move on to others. In my experience this gets easier and easier, to the point where you may end up marvelling at just how frenetic you allowed your life to become in the past, and how easy it’s been to change it!
As you move into a new reality and see how easy it can be to do, and how the things that matter do not suffer, you will find that you can create a whole new world for yourself simply by giving yourself permission to have what you want and following through.
Yes, you really really can!
Want to get my entire step-by-step process for How to Make Every Day Magical?
I’m going to be sharing so much more than this at my “Make Terrain for Magic” live workshop on Saturday 9 September 2017 at the gorgeous Corinthia hotel in London, and tickets are now on sale here.
Can’t make the live workshop but want to access the cutting-edge information somehow? No worries, click on the same link as above, scroll to the PS under my signature, and you’ll find details of how to secure the home study version for yourself.
If you’re serious about re-creating your life so that every day is filled with magic, and you have the time you desire to spend focused on you and your dreams, then you won’t want to miss this.
It goes way beyond what I’ve shared with you today and into a lot more dreaming, juiciness and magic, but for now I hope that this 5-step process has opened your mind to how easy it can be to break through supposed “reality” in order to live the life that you truly dream of.
Let me know what you think, or feel free to ask any questions in the comments section below 🙂
Have a beautiful week!
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