For the past two decades I have always chosen to regard Valentine’s Day as a day of SELF-LOVE first, and romantic love second.
Whether I have been in a relationship or single, I have always felt strongly that we need to be our own best lovers and to give ourselves the gifts, pleasure and surprises in life that we really desire (whenever we desire them), so that everything else we receive from any other sources is purely icing.
Those of you who know me well will absolutely agree that I have gotten very good at this over the years! Basically, whatever I have desired for myself – be it something as small as a tub of vegan ice-cream or a brand new car – I have found a way of obtaining it (legally!) for myself, and I have to say, it’s pretty amazing when you don’t deny yourself a thing, but instead give yourself permission to move fully and unapologetically into desire energy, and to receive what you truly want – and just as importantly when you want it.
(This, by the way, could be the subject of an entire teleclass actually, but we’ll have to save that for another time…)
This particular Valentine’s Day I am delighted to say that I am in the most loving relationship of my life. I am very happy and grateful that D. came into my world at the end of last summer, and tonight I’m looking forward to a special date night out with him – our first Valentine’s night of hopefully many.
As for the roses… I’m not exactly sure yet if he’s a roses-on-Valentines-Day kind of man, but let’s just say that I’m not necessarily attached. Roses would be wonderful – of course – but if they don’t arrive, that’s OK because I have already filled myself up even before he comes home. And that’s because today I have already loved on myself by doing things that I love, leaving love-filled voicemails to dear friends old and new, and basically surrounding myself in love in every way possible…. until I feel like I am surrounded by a warm and fuzzy glow.
If you haven’t ever done this of yourself, then I invite you to try it!
(It also makes you an even more amazing partner by the way!)
As for the giving yourself permission to have what you want part…. well, I know that this can bring up a lot of STUFF for us women. Trust me, I did not start where I am today around all of this, quite the opposite.
We have all kinds of stories – inherited, cultural, social – you name it. We tell ourselves that having what we want when we want it is “spoiled”, “selfish” and “greedy”. We buy into the belief that if we have what we want when we want it, that others will think badly of us, or that we might lose love, or we might become “a bad person”. We typically have a HUGE story playing out that to put ourselves first is downright sinful, and that we should wait for the things we want, or keep putting them off and out there somewhere in the distant future – so we’re not completely taking them off the table, but we’re not giving them to ourselves either.
How very clever we are!
After all, in doing this, we are not technically denying ourselves (“I’ll have that one day”) but we are also not putting ourselves in any possible firing line – be it from ourselves or others – because we’re not having it now.
Sneaky! (And actually quite sad when you think about it…)
When I finally realised I was doing this to myself I realised that it had to stop. By falling into that “not today, but perhaps tomorrow” trap, I was not only continually denying my own joy and fulfilment, but I was also playing a part in the continuation of this vicious cycle for all of womankind.
This cycle that keeps 99% of women always wanting, always feeling as if they are missing something, always feeling that someone else has to give it to them, or else they have to wait a very long time until they finally give it to themselves (if ever).
Well, I think today is an excellent day to change all that.
To this end, today I want to gift you something very special.
Your challenge is to fully receive it – or better still, to choose to gift it to yourself, because really they are one and the same thing.
The gift I want to give you is incredibly generous, and I know you’re going to love it. It holds potentially HUGE value for you and your life, and I honestly cannot think of anything better to gift you today.
And in the interests of space and time, I’ve written another special blog post to tell you all about it.
There is absolutely no catch, and everything is explained there.
Happy Valentines, click here to read all about your special gift.